A for Android: Schrödinger's grandchild

(Takes place 5.1.2007)

A for Android: Schrödinger's grandchild

It was so late at night that it was almost morning. The penthouse door clattered and two people entered. Fell through, more like, in a tight embrace and deep kiss. A swing of a leg sent the door slamming shut and it was again dark save for stars and the scarce remains of a new moon, half hidden behind slivers of clouds. Even if both were adept in keeping balance in the most difficult situations it was practically a miracle that they they did not topple over as they seemingly aimlessly moved through the house still locked in that vertical representation of horizontal intents.

Passionate hands tugged and unbuttoned, yanked and almost tore at clothing leaving a trail of next morning's laundry in their wake as the pair fluctuated towards the bedroom. Finally there was nothing more to shuck and skin on skin the lovers crashed on the bed. Hasty but determined mouths and hands probed and tasted raising the excitement until the rushed foreplay reached its end. All the ties to the past cut no barriers could any longer quell the tide of mad lust as two bodies locked and combined in furious copulation.

Hands against his shoulders, hips moving rhythmically Melanie stared Andre into the eyes and breathed out, "I don't think we're using any protection." Pinned down against the bed he smiled widely. "Then you could be on your way to motherhood in a few minutes." She bent down for a kiss and bit his lip gently. "A few minutes, eh? Fine by me, we can have another go in the morning." Then she rose to sit and started to shudder. Eyes closed and neck bent backwards she plunged down harder until she once more lunged forward heart pumping fast while her hips stilled and she gasped for breath.

Andre wrapped his hands around her back and whispered, "You asked about my fantasy." All she could do was nod hugging him, being still awashed with waves of pleasure. Melanie lied still and it took a moment for her to notice that something had changed. Her knees no longer were pressed on the bed and suddenly she could have drifted away if not for the protective hold around her. She opened her eyes to see the bed slowly receding and then they rotated in the air holding onto only each other as there was nothing else left in their universe. Gradually the movements resumed but with less desperation. "Some time when it's warm outside I want to take you to the skies and do this to you."

It was a whole new experience, both to Andre who had only witnessed the far ends of lovemaking spectrum with brutal fucking and tender loving, and to Melanie who had visited tens of beds yet none in the past six years. Taking your partner into consideration gains a whole new meaning when there is no illusion of attraction by gravity and the only thing holding the lovers together is their combined effort to not let go. The pace has to be calmer and the focus is directed to the actual act instead of the impending climax. Zero-G loving opens a whole new world where the time stretches to beyond forever.

With the hectic drive faded they found new, special appreciation of each other and together floated towards the eventual simultaneous orgastic rush. For Andre it was the first time that he was not preoccupied over what was expected of him, or not crossing any invisible lines. For Melanie it was simply the first time with a man that she loved. For the first time they allowed for the possibility of any future where they had children.

Finally too tired to move any more the they lied still on the bed in each others' arms with starshot veil of darkness as their only shroud. Nothing was said since no words could have added anything of significance. Destinies in motion came to a halt and probabilities altered. Future shifted allowing a child and a grandchild. Somewhere in the city a young temporally misplaced mutant Darksparrow prowled as timelines converged.

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- Coile * The Silent Tempest
"There is nothing really supernatural at it but it is extraordinary that a schoolgirl can do it so good." -description of Love Angel

Nice peice as always Coile. One of your greatest strenghts is a good use of imagery. Decided not to post a reply on the mainboards 'cos this is mature content but the only crit would be more description of the characters for those who dont know them, but you never bother with that anyway do yah.

Funny thing is I knew, I just knew Nightsparrow would be on top. tut tut tut.

OOCly of 'cos, I am using my picture of Sword so you can see what you're missing out on. That Nightsparrow will never amount to her! Never! And to think Coile is all sexing her and impregnating her, and then marrying her with her swollen belly... tut tut tut. Shame on Coile, shame. He can so do better than that Nightsparrow. She's like second-hand toilet paper. Very Happy

Personally, while the story is well written, I still have a disagreement about one sentence here because I feel it is disconnected from previous works and come quite unexpectedly.
Coile knows it as I already PM'ed him about that. I guess no revision will come on this text now.

I then just suggest him to develop the said information later for better understanding for a reader. Smile

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- The Sword of Truth * Silent Tempest

	Quote:
	"Some time when it's warm outside I want to take you to the skies and do this to you."

This one? Nah, I think Coile stole this one from My Super Ex-Girlfriend. hehe!

I haven't rewritten that part because what I have so far come up with is a kludge, not a solution.

Compare.

"For Andre it was the first time that he was not preoccupied over what was expected of him, or not crossing any invisible lines."

"For Andre it was the first time that he was not preoccupied over what was expected of him as with Emmily, or not crossing any invisible lines as with Nadia."

The description order mirrors the one from the above paragraph:

"... to Andre who had only witnessed the far ends of lovemaking spectrum with brutal fucking and tender loving..."

The fault lies with the "fanfic approach", same as lacking descriptions of the characters. This story leans on previous knowledge.

Adding the names helps a new reader to pin down which type of sex refers to which previous girlfriend, but it feels clumsy. I'd like a more elegant solution, but so far one keeps eluding me. If I don't find one, I'll settle with this approach.

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- Coile * The Silent Tempest
"There is nothing really supernatural at it but it is extraordinary that a schoolgirl can do it so good." -description of Love Angel

What I was meaning is "it was the first time that he was not preoccupied" is setting that, every time before, he was preoccupied. It is not directly stated but it is implied.

I do not contest Coile-the-character thoughts on this. However, I think it collides with the imagery built around Sword-the-character in previous stories where you never suggested he could be preoccupied or at unease or anything.
I am truly seeing it from a reader perspective here. Suddenly we learn, according to this sentence, he wasn't totally in peace with his previous love. Considering the emotionnal charge placed in a work like in "Pantheon of Beauty", which is globally setting the mindset of Coile-the-character for the reader, I think it's really unexpected to read this now.
As we don't have a progression or a change hinted since, it's surprising.

My personal way would be to rewrite the whole paragraph. Editing it to clarify might just look like a patch.
Rewriting it to clearly state what is Coile-the-character thoughts here and, if the sentence is really appropriate, explain why. It doesn't need to be a chapter by itself, just explaining why now, he is more at peace.
Something like "with Nadia, he never knew what was expected from him because she was just not asking, only receiving what he was giving. And he never knew if it was what she hoped".

The other solution is to let the sentence as it is written and, in an upcoming work, give the explanation to the reader.

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- The Sword of Truth * Silent Tempest